A common sense approach to current events, challenges ahead and hot topics from two different perspectives Queens.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
A View From Two Queens: The Need For Family and/or The Need For Friends!
A View From Two Queens: The Need For Family and/or The Need For Friends!: Rob and I disagree on this subject! I should say we agree to disagree! Depending on his mood he sees a need for both. But importunately not ...
The Need For Family and/or The Need For Friends!
Rob and I disagree on this subject! I should say we agree to disagree! Depending on his mood he sees a need for both. But importunately not all families are alike and its what causes him to waver on his deep hidden feelings!
My mother adored Robert, yes adored! Sometimes I used to kid with my mom that her love for ROBERT was stronger than for me. I never, ever felt that but was nice to know she loved and adored the man in my life!So much so that my aunt recently in tears said, Joe's mothered adored you! And yes those who know Robert know how easy it is to love him. Well unless you live with him! Kidding!
My mother always was busy with family when we were younger! We were with the Arraoil's in major street family fights in Taunton or the DeSousa's in Providence BBQ'g! They were family and it was one or the other until my aunt died in Providence, then things kind of settled down. Of course JW's came into the picture and family was forbidden and shunned because they did not share our belief! Stupidity!
As my mother aged family again became very important! You notice I say family not friends. You see friends play a role in our life, but when things get tough very few hang around. Most are very centered focused (especially gay friends)! family just does what it has to do! It's family!
However, though family will come to you're aid during crisis, its beneficial to have a relationship with them. But even if not, family is family! I have learned this as Rob's family embraces me and mine embraced Robert!
Of course, with my mom gone its changed! I have lost most, if not all of my family! And as my sister faces an uncertain future, it will only get worse on my side. But I focus on a large family Rob has. They like my mother have embraced me and I feel they like my mom adore me. Though Rob has some deep seeded issues, I feel very comfortable with them.
So it's very simple! Friends play a critical role in you're life! But when all is said and done, you better have a family or when you get older it gets very lonely!
Dr Q
Chat soon!
My mother adored Robert, yes adored! Sometimes I used to kid with my mom that her love for ROBERT was stronger than for me. I never, ever felt that but was nice to know she loved and adored the man in my life!So much so that my aunt recently in tears said, Joe's mothered adored you! And yes those who know Robert know how easy it is to love him. Well unless you live with him! Kidding!
My mother always was busy with family when we were younger! We were with the Arraoil's in major street family fights in Taunton or the DeSousa's in Providence BBQ'g! They were family and it was one or the other until my aunt died in Providence, then things kind of settled down. Of course JW's came into the picture and family was forbidden and shunned because they did not share our belief! Stupidity!
As my mother aged family again became very important! You notice I say family not friends. You see friends play a role in our life, but when things get tough very few hang around. Most are very centered focused (especially gay friends)! family just does what it has to do! It's family!
However, though family will come to you're aid during crisis, its beneficial to have a relationship with them. But even if not, family is family! I have learned this as Rob's family embraces me and mine embraced Robert!
Of course, with my mom gone its changed! I have lost most, if not all of my family! And as my sister faces an uncertain future, it will only get worse on my side. But I focus on a large family Rob has. They like my mother have embraced me and I feel they like my mom adore me. Though Rob has some deep seeded issues, I feel very comfortable with them.
So it's very simple! Friends play a critical role in you're life! But when all is said and done, you better have a family or when you get older it gets very lonely!
Dr Q
Chat soon!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
A View From Two Queens: 14 years of bliss or misery?
A View From Two Queens: 14 years of bliss or misery?: Yup we are coming up on 14 years together, people often equate it to dog years and therefore we are coming up on 98 years! Well the question...
14 years of bliss or misery?
Yup we are coming up on 14 years together, people often equate it to dog years and therefore we are coming up on 98 years! Well the question to us is it has it been bliss or misery?
Rob and I have different opinions on this! Overall we agree it's bliss but he often goes back to early years when to him it was misery! I have forgotten those early years! I tend to be very forward focused. unless I am on the verge of a breakdown then I can't help but focus on the past!
Rob's early views (by Joe): I was always breaking up (for good reasons)! He always refused to leave (for good reasons). I was very controlling (for a good reason, he was always a follower (for a good reason)! I drank allot (for a good reason), He always took too many drugs, (for a good reason)!
I was worried about my family though I did not show it, he was worried about his friends and he showed it! We worked this out! I loved sex too MANY times a day he did not. This was the hardest thing I had to adjust!I was in love, he learned to love (good for him, created stability something he never experienced).
Life took us across country twice and we learned what it's like to react to life's needs and to focus on new beginnings! This was easy for me and hard for Rob. In the process we lost allot of material things he just left behind (reminds me of my brother) but it taught him responsibility! It taught me to let go and give someone control of my life. It was preparing me for today as Rob has "Power of Attorney" over me!
To me it's been a blessed 14 years! The good outweigh the bad! The NJ registration, the Miami wedding, and the first time I met him is what I focus on! To the future I look at traveling with him and eventually dying together though the creator may have other plans, I tend to get what I want!
Joe's early views (by Rob): Everything is his way or no way (still today). I refused to leave because I knew it was a stable relationship (we vowed never to break up). two men together should not have a (girls or boys night out) without the the other one being present.
They say who you meet in life makes the person you are today! Therefore I am glad I met Rob as I am sure Rob met me! For today we have a thriving relationship because of each other.
Chat soon!
Dr Q
Rob and I have different opinions on this! Overall we agree it's bliss but he often goes back to early years when to him it was misery! I have forgotten those early years! I tend to be very forward focused. unless I am on the verge of a breakdown then I can't help but focus on the past!
Rob's early views (by Joe): I was always breaking up (for good reasons)! He always refused to leave (for good reasons). I was very controlling (for a good reason, he was always a follower (for a good reason)! I drank allot (for a good reason), He always took too many drugs, (for a good reason)!
I was worried about my family though I did not show it, he was worried about his friends and he showed it! We worked this out! I loved sex too MANY times a day he did not. This was the hardest thing I had to adjust!I was in love, he learned to love (good for him, created stability something he never experienced).
Life took us across country twice and we learned what it's like to react to life's needs and to focus on new beginnings! This was easy for me and hard for Rob. In the process we lost allot of material things he just left behind (reminds me of my brother) but it taught him responsibility! It taught me to let go and give someone control of my life. It was preparing me for today as Rob has "Power of Attorney" over me!
To me it's been a blessed 14 years! The good outweigh the bad! The NJ registration, the Miami wedding, and the first time I met him is what I focus on! To the future I look at traveling with him and eventually dying together though the creator may have other plans, I tend to get what I want!
Joe's early views (by Rob): Everything is his way or no way (still today). I refused to leave because I knew it was a stable relationship (we vowed never to break up). two men together should not have a (girls or boys night out) without the the other one being present.
They say who you meet in life makes the person you are today! Therefore I am glad I met Rob as I am sure Rob met me! For today we have a thriving relationship because of each other.
Chat soon!
Dr Q
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The past 60 days without MOM!
Well Bette Midler has a remake of a song appropriate for these notes, it's called, "Hello In There"!
It's a song about life and getting old! It's appropriate for eventually besides the hollow eyes we end up with and the sadness as we lose loved ones and eventually ending with us, we all have a responsibility to keeping an eye on the older ones as times takes their youth away!
I am in that cycle as was my mother before her death. Yes, I saw the hollow eyes and it was over! Lets all take time to say "hello in there" to everyone passing by but especially those up in years!
It's been tough mom! It's been lonely in Hudson! When you left the core fell apart!You would think one of us would of taken over from you, but that was not part of the plan! Everyone has their interest, their agenda and you kept us together somehow! I am sorry I could not be the one! I sometimes wish I was a core that kept a family together, but that's not my role in life it seems. I could keep a group of 500 people focused on a goal at work, but cannot keep a family of 3 together.
Rob and I bought a new car, we settled with the insurances and the two accidents. That in itself had it's challenges! Their is no money in accidents! When you get done you have bad health and nothing to enjoy life a little bit more!
One never plans for the death of their father and mother! I am glad I always saw you as if everyday was you're last and appreciated you as such! And even though we planned as such, the plan was not in writing and it fell apart!Sometimes I walk the block with Bette and I look for someone to say "hello in there"! But this is Hudson and most of the neighbors are looking for the same thing! So I reach out and in the process somehow help myself "in there"!
I see a therapist, but the economy or world in general is bad so he is also too busy to see me weekly! Now I plan ahead to see him but sometimes I am so sick I can't get out of bed. Doctor's have become a challenge, because I am a challenge!
Their has been rumor's of my various illness, but if people knew that sometimes the pain is loneliness! People don't realize "loneliness" is the number one cause of death in the world! It's a mental thing mom! We never could keep still! But in 60 days that has changed so much as you said it would! Leaving the house is a challenge! The thought of why, just why am I here, but to bother people is in my mind daily!
Well we will make it to the 90 days and then 6 months and no doubt a year! We have plans to go see the kids in Boston and if all works well Madeira so Rob can see where I was born! We do little monthly trips to nearby to keep me going. I live for Rob, the man you adored I adore also! Youre right mom, he is a keeper!
Love and missed you are!
You're son!
It's a song about life and getting old! It's appropriate for eventually besides the hollow eyes we end up with and the sadness as we lose loved ones and eventually ending with us, we all have a responsibility to keeping an eye on the older ones as times takes their youth away!
I am in that cycle as was my mother before her death. Yes, I saw the hollow eyes and it was over! Lets all take time to say "hello in there" to everyone passing by but especially those up in years!
It's been tough mom! It's been lonely in Hudson! When you left the core fell apart!You would think one of us would of taken over from you, but that was not part of the plan! Everyone has their interest, their agenda and you kept us together somehow! I am sorry I could not be the one! I sometimes wish I was a core that kept a family together, but that's not my role in life it seems. I could keep a group of 500 people focused on a goal at work, but cannot keep a family of 3 together.
Rob and I bought a new car, we settled with the insurances and the two accidents. That in itself had it's challenges! Their is no money in accidents! When you get done you have bad health and nothing to enjoy life a little bit more!
One never plans for the death of their father and mother! I am glad I always saw you as if everyday was you're last and appreciated you as such! And even though we planned as such, the plan was not in writing and it fell apart!Sometimes I walk the block with Bette and I look for someone to say "hello in there"! But this is Hudson and most of the neighbors are looking for the same thing! So I reach out and in the process somehow help myself "in there"!
I see a therapist, but the economy or world in general is bad so he is also too busy to see me weekly! Now I plan ahead to see him but sometimes I am so sick I can't get out of bed. Doctor's have become a challenge, because I am a challenge!
Their has been rumor's of my various illness, but if people knew that sometimes the pain is loneliness! People don't realize "loneliness" is the number one cause of death in the world! It's a mental thing mom! We never could keep still! But in 60 days that has changed so much as you said it would! Leaving the house is a challenge! The thought of why, just why am I here, but to bother people is in my mind daily!
Well we will make it to the 90 days and then 6 months and no doubt a year! We have plans to go see the kids in Boston and if all works well Madeira so Rob can see where I was born! We do little monthly trips to nearby to keep me going. I live for Rob, the man you adored I adore also! Youre right mom, he is a keeper!
Love and missed you are!
You're son!
Remembering my mom!
Remembering my mother
Mother,
as I walk through the journey of life,
I remember.
I remember how you helped me to grow
with love, truth, and honesty.
I remember how you helped me to choose the right path
with values, morals, and self worth.
I remember how you gave me dreams
with hope and confidence.
As I remember,
I prayed to be a father like you were my mother,
to shape my children into strong adults,
full of hopes and dreams.
You made me who I am today,
and I will always remember you in life's passings
for no one could touch my life as you have.
as I walk through the journey of life,
I remember.
I remember how you helped me to grow
with love, truth, and honesty.
I remember how you helped me to choose the right path
with values, morals, and self worth.
I remember how you gave me dreams
with hope and confidence.
As I remember,
I prayed to be a father like you were my mother,
to shape my children into strong adults,
full of hopes and dreams.
You made me who I am today,
and I will always remember you in life's passings
for no one could touch my life as you have.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)