The Holiday's, The Pain, The Solution!

Every year it arrives and every year I am never prepared for it. Growing up we celebrated the holidays and I have fond memories of it as a small boy in Portugal. We never got much, but I remember that plastic truck I spent weeks or months paying with the sand.I always though I would grow up to be a builder of something and I did I created winning teams that I am so proud of!

That being said we then became Jehovah's Witnesses and celebrates stopped. Actually I did not miss them. I mean I don't understand why people don;t like beautiful lights, and what seems to be happiness! I always loved buying things for people, my children loved ones etc. Nevertheless we did not celebrate it and life moved on. We used other yearly celebrations to fill is the gap and it worked.

Now as I age and away from my children I find the holidays very painful! I know they are coming I try very hard to think positive but depression kicks in! People often say if you know you have depression you can solve it. Like an alcoholic it's the first step to sobriety! How wrong people are!

I have dealt with depression all my life! All the way back to my parents splitting up and leaving my country! Yes all the way to age 9! I was on Valium when no-one knew children should not be given that type of medication! However it saved my life!

I am back on that and more to address recent events but especially the holidays! I so much miss my children and grandson! Life has apart for now and I don;t see a time when this will change. Our lives have gone in different directions. And like all things children need to want to see their parents! It can't be one way!

In addition with all the medical problems the holidays are tough. So to deal with the Pain on loneliness, actual pain, missing my children and so forth Rob and I try to plan small trips of his day's off. I love being with him. He is my light in a very dark world. I thanks the powers to be for preparing me by allowing someone with such special gifts to be part of my life. It is magical and wonderful.

And though he can't fill in for all of my thoughts, sadness and the pain of the holidays, he does provide the spirit of the good of life!

Dr Q