The past 60 days without MOM!

Well Bette Midler has a remake of a song appropriate for these notes, it's called, "Hello In There"!

It's a song about life and getting old! It's appropriate for eventually besides the hollow eyes we end up with and the sadness as we lose loved ones and eventually ending with us, we all have a responsibility to keeping an eye on the older ones as times takes their youth away!

I am in that cycle as was my mother before her death. Yes, I saw the hollow eyes and it was over! Lets all take time to say "hello in there" to everyone passing by but especially those up in years!

It's been tough mom! It's been lonely in Hudson! When you left the core fell apart!You would think one of us would of taken over from you, but that was not part of the plan! Everyone has their interest, their agenda and you kept us together somehow! I am sorry I could not be the one! I sometimes wish I was a core that kept a family together, but that's not my role in life it seems. I could keep a group of 500 people focused on a goal at work, but cannot keep a family of 3 together.

Rob and I bought a new car, we settled with the insurances and the two accidents. That in itself had it's challenges! Their is no money in accidents! When you get done you have bad health and nothing to enjoy life a little bit more!

One never plans for the death of their father and mother! I am glad I always saw you as if everyday was you're last and appreciated you as such! And even though we planned as such, the plan was not in writing and it fell apart!Sometimes I walk the block with Bette and I look for someone to say "hello in there"! But this is Hudson and most of the neighbors are looking for the same thing! So I reach out and in the process somehow help myself "in there"!

I see a therapist, but the economy or world in general is bad so he is also too busy to see me weekly! Now I plan ahead to see him but sometimes I am so sick I can't get out of bed. Doctor's have become a challenge, because I am a challenge!

Their has been rumor's of my various illness, but if people knew that sometimes the pain is loneliness! People don't realize "loneliness" is the number one cause of death in the world! It's a mental thing mom! We never could keep still! But in 60 days that has changed so much as you said it would! Leaving the house is a challenge! The thought of why, just why am I here, but to bother people is in my mind daily!

Well we will make it to the 90 days and then 6 months and no doubt a year! We have plans to go see the kids in Boston and if all works well Madeira so Rob can see where I was born! We do little monthly trips to nearby to keep me going. I live for Rob, the man you adored I adore also! Youre right mom, he is a keeper!

Love and missed you are!

You're son!