A common sense approach to current events, challenges ahead and hot topics from two different perspectives Queens.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
A View From Two Queens: Being in Love Forever! (a must read)
A View From Two Queens: Being in Love Forever! (a must read): In reading this morning news about: Rosie O'Donnell: I'm in love makes me wonder why we as a community want to accept the word marriage...
Being in Love Forever! (a must read)
In reading this morning news about:
makes me wonder why we as a community want to accept the word marriage and then instead of being an example have the same divorce rates as heterosexuals! When I came out about 13 years ago I wanted a life the same I had with my x-wife but I fell in Love with Robert! I guess this will be short and simple!
Rosie O'Donnell: I'm in love
Rosie is in love but not "fell in love" There is a huge difference! We can "be in love" with many people. I mean being a chicken hawk, I could be in love everyday with every cute guy that gives me attention or the eyes to the nearest bathroom!
But when I met Robert from that moment May 11, @ 130 pm I knew that he was it! I had hear of this magic but was never a believer! There was no longer a need to look, to search to ponder, to think! My heart, my soul, my every thought was him!
He did not have money, he did not have a great job, he did not have material things to contribute to what would be our life together but what he has was special! He was as his friends call him "ROBERT"! One of the most amazing individuals I have met during my time on earth!
From the onset we had challenges, we came from two different worlds and yes, he will say we broke up every other day! But those were steps to what we have today. I have been "in love with Robert from the moment I met him"!
Elizabeth Taylor said it well, "I have loved every man I have married and still do, when you love, you love forever"! But she was "in LOVE" with only one.
We take the words "in love" lightly! One should be reminded of what the bible says about love and if we did we would not be "in love" 5 times or 8 times in our life! Some will say well Joe you have had two loves, so who are you to speak! I have to correct those people! I loved and still love Isabel, but I was never "in love" with her.
This is not intended to hurt her! She gave me everything I needed at that time and I know she was "in love" with me! It's something I should not have ever done to her. But people do it all the time as Rosie is about to do it again! People fall "in love" easily, when breaking up is so hard to do!
When I met Rob for the first 5 years we had 3 reminders our relationship was based on! It still is written 13 years later on the chalk board today! And we said no matter what "leaving is not an option"!
We fell in love and in time it kept growing! Every little mistake, added to our relationship! Every little win, adds to our relationship! Every little fight, added to our relationship! These are not reasons to break up, these are reasons to grow!
You see it's easy to say "I'm in love"! It's another to prove it!
Dr Q.
Monday, October 3, 2011
A View From Two Queens: 50% Divorces + 50% Effort The Missing Link!
A View From Two Queens: 50% Divorces + 50% Effort The Missing Link!: Robert and I were discussing this on our wway back from a night away! As a couple we take a night or two away to spend time together alone. ...
50% Divorces + 50% Effort The Missing Link!
Robert and I were discussing this on our wway back from a night away! As a couple we take a night or two away to spend time together alone. I have always done this both in my previous relationship with my kids and now with Rob! It gives us an opportunity to relax and talk about issues as well as be silly and mostly as I face surgery just be together.
On our way back the discussion was how much effort do individuals put into marriages? If you follow my blogs you will know by know I don;t believe in marriage for gay people or even straight ones (if you find one). I believe in partnerships! Relationships are partners trying to accomplish something, let it be bringing up children as a family or just deciding to live as two people who care about each other. So the question we were debating was how much effort does each individual put into the r relationship?
And in addition why does it seem that the gay community divorce rate is the same as heterosexuals? Could it be down to mathematics and the fact we have all been taught wrong math?
All my life I was told it's a 50/50 relationship not partnership! And interestingly it's a 50/50% divorce rate or somewhere around there! So could our basic mathematics on this issue be wrong? Do we need to put more than 50% or 51% or 75% to make a relationship last? The answer is so simple it amazes me and should also amaze you all!
THE ANSWER IS WE ALL NEED TO GO INTO A PARTNERSHIP WITH THE MINDSET WE NEED TO GIVE 110%! Why?
The answer is so simple and somewhat biblical! There is a famous biblical story about a person feeling alone and only seeing two steps in the sand, thereby thinking the creator was not there and did not care! That person is reminded that the creator was carrying him/her and why the only two steps!
Marriage and/or a partnership between two people is the same way! There are times you may have to carry the entire 110%! It's when you're not prepared for this or even thought of it that makes a relationship fall apart! This is applicable to emotions, sex, cleaning gardening, family issues etc.
I happen to be the one that carried Robert for the first 10 years we were together and now with all my challenges due to two automotive accidents I see Robert at times carry 110% as I relax and try to somehow make it through another day! I saw this with his sister and brother in-law Loraine and Chuck who is also dealing with heavy health issues! Our relationship lasts like their does! It may not be perfect and at times even depressing! But as Rob told me yesterday, "we are together and I love you and don;t mind taking care of you"!
Somehow I have made so many deposits into the relationship that recent withdrawn are OK! We have always believed that we put 110%! There are some things he insists on doing and there are some I insist even if a challenge.
So if you want to be part of the 50% that stay together for life remember that it takes 110% to accomplish that goal. If you put in 50% you may find yourself in that 50% divorced!
Dr Q
On our way back the discussion was how much effort do individuals put into marriages? If you follow my blogs you will know by know I don;t believe in marriage for gay people or even straight ones (if you find one). I believe in partnerships! Relationships are partners trying to accomplish something, let it be bringing up children as a family or just deciding to live as two people who care about each other. So the question we were debating was how much effort does each individual put into the r relationship?
And in addition why does it seem that the gay community divorce rate is the same as heterosexuals? Could it be down to mathematics and the fact we have all been taught wrong math?
All my life I was told it's a 50/50 relationship not partnership! And interestingly it's a 50/50% divorce rate or somewhere around there! So could our basic mathematics on this issue be wrong? Do we need to put more than 50% or 51% or 75% to make a relationship last? The answer is so simple it amazes me and should also amaze you all!
THE ANSWER IS WE ALL NEED TO GO INTO A PARTNERSHIP WITH THE MINDSET WE NEED TO GIVE 110%! Why?
The answer is so simple and somewhat biblical! There is a famous biblical story about a person feeling alone and only seeing two steps in the sand, thereby thinking the creator was not there and did not care! That person is reminded that the creator was carrying him/her and why the only two steps!
Marriage and/or a partnership between two people is the same way! There are times you may have to carry the entire 110%! It's when you're not prepared for this or even thought of it that makes a relationship fall apart! This is applicable to emotions, sex, cleaning gardening, family issues etc.
I happen to be the one that carried Robert for the first 10 years we were together and now with all my challenges due to two automotive accidents I see Robert at times carry 110% as I relax and try to somehow make it through another day! I saw this with his sister and brother in-law Loraine and Chuck who is also dealing with heavy health issues! Our relationship lasts like their does! It may not be perfect and at times even depressing! But as Rob told me yesterday, "we are together and I love you and don;t mind taking care of you"!
Somehow I have made so many deposits into the relationship that recent withdrawn are OK! We have always believed that we put 110%! There are some things he insists on doing and there are some I insist even if a challenge.
So if you want to be part of the 50% that stay together for life remember that it takes 110% to accomplish that goal. If you put in 50% you may find yourself in that 50% divorced!
Dr Q
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