50% Divorces + 50% Effort The Missing Link!

Robert and I were discussing this on our wway back from a night away! As a couple we take a night or two away to spend time together alone. I have always done this both in my previous relationship with my kids and now with Rob! It gives us an opportunity to relax and talk about issues as well as be silly and mostly as I face surgery just be together.

On our way back the discussion was how much effort do individuals put into marriages? If you follow my blogs you will know by know I don;t believe in marriage for gay people or even straight ones (if you find one). I believe in partnerships! Relationships are partners trying to accomplish something, let it be bringing up children as a family or just deciding to live as two people who care about each other. So the question we were debating was how much effort does each individual put into the r relationship?

And in addition why does it seem that the gay community divorce rate is the same as heterosexuals? Could it be down to mathematics and the fact we have all been taught wrong math?

All my life I was told it's a 50/50 relationship not partnership! And interestingly it's a 50/50% divorce rate or somewhere around there! So could our basic mathematics on this issue be wrong? Do we need to put more than 50% or 51% or 75% to make a relationship last? The answer is so simple it amazes me and should also amaze you all!

THE ANSWER IS WE ALL NEED TO GO INTO A PARTNERSHIP WITH THE MINDSET WE NEED TO GIVE 110%! Why?

The answer is so simple and somewhat biblical! There is a famous biblical story about a person feeling alone and only seeing two steps in the sand, thereby thinking the creator was not there and did not care! That person is reminded that the creator was carrying him/her and why the only two steps!

Marriage and/or a partnership between two people is the same way! There are times you may have to carry the entire 110%! It's when you're not prepared for this or even thought of it that makes a relationship fall apart! This is applicable to emotions, sex, cleaning gardening, family issues etc.

I happen to be the one that carried Robert for the first 10 years we were together and now with all my challenges due to two automotive accidents I see Robert at times carry 110% as I relax and try to somehow make it through another day! I saw this with his sister and brother in-law Loraine and Chuck who is also dealing with heavy health issues! Our relationship lasts like their does! It may not be perfect and at times even depressing! But as Rob told me yesterday, "we are together and I love you and don;t mind taking care of you"!

Somehow I have made so many deposits into the relationship that recent withdrawn are OK! We have always believed that we put 110%! There are some things he insists on doing and there are some I insist even if a challenge.

So if you want to be part of the 50% that stay together for life remember that it takes 110% to accomplish that goal. If you put in 50% you may find yourself in that 50% divorced!

Dr Q